Wellness Guide
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Many sicknesses, diseases and evils in this world, in my humble opinion, could be resolved by simply elevating an individual’s self-esteem. Improving one’s self-esteem could very well be the key to a happy, healthy and successful life.

Most people’s feelings and thoughts about themselves fluctuate based on their daily experiences. The grade you get on an exam, how your friends and colleagues treat you, ups and downs in a romantic relationship- all can have a temporary impact on your well being.

Your own self-esteem, however, is something more fundamental than the normal “ups and downs” associated with situational changes. For people with good basic self-esteem, normal “ups and downs” may lead to temporary fluctuations in how they feel about themselves, but only to a limited extent.

In contrast, for people with poor basic self-esteem, these “ups and downs” may make all the difference in the world. People with poor self-esteem often rely on how they are doing in the present to determine how they feel about themselves. They need positive external experiences to counteract the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly plague them. Even then, the good feeling (from a good grade, etc.) can be temporary.

It is my belief, that layered beneath unhealthy behaviour is low self-esteem. It is low self-esteem that drives people to partake in risky or unhealthy behaviour, resulting in many known poor outcomes that are evidenced by little value for themselves or their health. The inability to value your self is normally punctuated with feelings of “I’m not worth it” or “I don’t deserve to be like or loved” or “I’m just a failure who would listen to me” This is the hallmark of low self-esteem.

Healthy self-esteem is based on our ability to assess ourselves accurately (know ourselves) and still be able to accept and value ourselves unconditionally. This means being able to realistically acknowledge our strengths and limitations (which is part of being human) and at the same time accepting ourselves as worthy and worthwhile without conditions or reservations.

Where Does Our Self-Esteem Come From?

Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities.

Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.

An adult who has healthy self-esteem was given this gift in childhood.

10 Tips For Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

  1. Stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself.
    Start thinking about positive aspects of yourself. When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make you happy.
  2. Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection.
    Some people become paralyzed by perfection. Instead of holding yourself back with thoughts like, “I won’t be good enough” think about what you’re good at and what you enjoy, and go for it.
  3. View mistakes as learning opportunities.
    Accept that you will make mistakes because everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that a person’s talents are constantly developing, and everyone excels at different things — it’s what makes people interesting
  4. Try new things.
    Try experimenting with different activities that will help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in the new skills you develop along the way.
  5. Recognize what you can change and what you can’t.
    If you’re unhappy with something about yourself that you can change, then do something about it today. If it’s something you can’t change (like your height), then begin to work toward loving yourself the way you are.
  6. Set goals.
    Think about what you’d like to accomplish, and then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan and keep track of your progress.
  7. Exercise!
    Overcome Low Self-Esteem

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    Trust me you will be glad you started, nothing is more uplifting than a brisk 20 minute walk in the country side. You’ll relieve stress, and be healthier and happier

  8. Have fun.
    Ever found yourself thinking stuff like “I’d have more friends if I were thinner”? Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing the things you love. Relax and have a good time — and avoid putting your life on hold.
  9. Do something you’re good at.
    How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing… If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of ‘flow‘ where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self esteem!
  10. Stop thinking about yourself.
    This may sound strange, but low self esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.

Building self-esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. It’s like a flame that should gradually spread like a bush fire from inside and out.

When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self-esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative.

Mark Csabai

I live in sunny South Africa. I create websites, meditate, study and listen to lots of music, while I write articles for my blog. I help people uncover their potential and guide them into a fulfilling life. I am a certified Master NLP Practitioner. My goal is to become a certified NLP Trainer, so I can teach others about the power of change through NLP.